Phreakin' Inappropriate

There are a lot of great words that begin with the letter “F” that we could use to talk about the World Series, the Phillies, and how this city feels after finally winning. Fantastic. Fabulous. First-class. Fans!

There are two important words that sound like they begin with “F” but really don’t: Philadelphia and Phillies, of course. (This concept is hard for my daughter, who is just beginning to grasp the sounds that various letters make.)

And then there are those words that should begin with “F” that we Phillies fans have temporarily taken over with a “Ph” -- “Phightin’ Phils!” “Phinally!” The daughter-of-an-English-professor in me is usually annoyed when words are purposefully misspelled just to be cute (Kwik-E-Mart, Tastee Diner), but I’m willing to make exceptions just this once.

This should be a family-friendly fun celebration (look at all these G-rated words that begin with "F!"), and it has been up until today’s victory celebration at Citizens Bank Park. So why – oh why – did Chase Utley have to ruin it all by standing up and declaring – in the presence of roughly 45,000 fans, with hundreds of thousands more watching -- "World Champions!  World F#*ing Champions!"

 

 

My almost-eight-year-old son – a new and enthusiastic baseball fan – instantly asked “Mom, what does f#%*ing mean?” He’s been curious for a while about swear words and what they are. I’ve explained as best I can without actually listing any. He’s vaguely aware that “dammit” is a swear word, and so far I’ve been content with that. I figure that over the years he’ll learn more of them (from the playground, I assumed, or maybe the occasional bad word that creeps into a movie that I’ve mistakenly let him watch). It’s a shame that he’s learned one of the worst ones during this city’s victory celebration.

While I’ll admit to being a relatively new Phillies fan, Chase Utley has always been a favorite. If he’d uttered those words in the heat of the moment after just winning – and I’m sure that word was uttered in glee more than a few times in the middle of that wonderful, jubilant heap of Phillies that piled on Brad Lidge after the final out – I would have been able to forgive him. But he had almost two days to contemplate what he was going say during today’s rally. He traveled down today’s parade route – looking out over three miles’ worth of cheering fans, many of them children who’d skipped Halloween festivities at school to be there, with smiles and big red P’s on their faces. He sat on that podium and heard what each of his teammates chose to say – and each one was gracious and humble – and he stood up and taught my son the F-word.

I’m still grateful for that excellent throw to home during Game 5. He kept the tying run from scoring. Fabulous! Fantastic! But please, Chase, next time remember that there are children listening. They might not be old enough to stay up to watch most of your regular season games, but they are still listening.