Dealing with death: the loss of a beloved pet
It’s been a little over a month since our beloved cat, Zoe, passed away. She was only 9 years old and although she had never been a healthy cat, her death was unexpected.
In our house, our cats are a part of the family. They are an integral part of our family life; my boys are already big animal lovers. We all took Zoe’s passing hard. It was especially difficult for me to explain the inevitable question of WHY that came from my kids. The cliché “it was her time” didn’t seem appropriate when she was taken so soon from us.
My boys are 5 ½ and 2 ½. My younger son didn’t really get it. He’s still asking for Zoe on occasion – which hurts – although I’m almost glad to know he’s spared the pain. My oldest has been trickier. He’s seen me crying about it, and he’s been very inquisitive. Zoe’s death brought about a whole host of questions and a new found curiousity in death.
Where did Zoe go? Is she with your Grandma in heaven?
Where did her body go? We had Zoe cremated, which I tried to explain in the gentlest of ways but then it brought: But then how is she using her body in heaven? And what about her voice, how can she talk to God if she is only made of ashes now?
How do you answer the questions you don’t know the specific answer to? I’ve been answering them as best I can and as honestly as I can without scaring him or covering any subject I feel is inappropriate at this stage. It's been tough - death is such a big subject and making a 5 1/2 year old and 2 1/2 year old understand it truly seems near impossible at this time. I did get some great recommendations for children’s books on pet death that have helped tremendously including: "I'll Always Love You," by Hans Wilhelm, "For Every Cat, An Angel," by Christine Davis and "The Tenth Good Thing About Barney," by Judith Viorst.
The last one gave us the wonderful idea of having a little service where we each list one or two things we loved about Zoe. I picked up her ashes today so once we figure out what we will be doing with her, I plan on having a family service where we can talk about Zoe and celebrate her life with us.
Original post to Philly Moms Blog.
