The Power of Agreement

I am a passionate person. I am a thinker, a dreamer and a believer. But there is one caveat to all of this– I can not be, I cannot move forward, I can not do—anything, unless I have agreement from others.

I have just discovered this about myself and I’m actually blown away by the realization of it. As it turns out, if you, people, anyone, doesn’t agree with what I’m thinking, what I see, what I want, it paralyzes me. I’m definitely not someone who will force what I want on others and make them do something for me – there is no satisfaction in that. I would rather someone agree with my ideas and yes me to death, then someone just appease me and give me what I want- that just gives me guilt and leaves me feeling empty and alone and inevitably not wanting whatever it was that got me all excited in the first place.

I am all about the teamwork- to a fault, I guess. If no one is on my team working to a shared end goal, then I am quickly deflated. That won’t always stop me. I will talk and talk about ideas, about my visions, about philosophies, until I can find someone who will jump on my bandwagon. When they do, I drive that bandwagon into the horizon with a shit-grin and a mouth that won’t stop as long as there are people around to listen and answer in agreement.

I once participated in a powerful exercise that gave me a lot of insight into this personality type. Try the exercise for yourself and see how it plays out for you…
Get someone to sit down with you one on one. Your role will be that of the “storyteller” and their role is the” listener.” You will be telling a story, two times, about one the best places that you’ve ever been. The first time the listener’s job is to really listen. To listen like they’ve never listened before. To chime in, to nod, to agree- even a few hallelujahs would help. See how your storytelling goes. If you’re like me, your story takes on a life of its own. Your favorite spot now has a texture and color and depth because of your words- the listener’s agreement has you traveled back in time- has you re-experience moments, feelings, bliss. You’re invigorated. When the time is up (try 5 min) you’re glowing and your spirit is lifted. Now, try it again. This time the listener’s job is to NOT listen. They are supposed to act distracted, uninterested and distant. They barely pay attention. See how your storytelling goes the 2nd time around. If you’re able to tell the same story with the same life, vigor and passion as you did the 1st time, then you are very different than me. If you are like me, then you’ll find that your passion died on their deaf ears & closed mind.

Why is it that people’s belief in me and my ideas and their agreement is like oxygen for me? Without it I am weak and stoppable but with it I’m soaring and I have the power to move mountains. Now that I have discovered this about myself, I am working hard so that believing in myself is all I need.

This is an original post of the Philly Moms Blog. Lindsay is also the Chief Blogger for the Graco corporate blog.