You Can Pay Us, But It'll Cost Ya!

You’ve got to hand it to the brain trust at Comcast.  The company that Philadelphians love to hate has come up with yet another way to tick off customers.

 Last week, as my family was sitting down to dinner (strike one), the phone rang.

 “Hi, this is John, from Comcast.  I’m just calling to see if you’d like to make a payment free of charge.”  What?  A “payment free of charge?”  What the heck does that mean?

 As we were attempting some family bonding, we asked John to call back and explain himself at 8:30 P.M. that evening.   He didn’t, of course.  (Strike two.)  But so confused was I by John’s “offer,” that I called Comcast myself the next morning, just to see if I had misunderstood or if this was, in fact, yet another brilliant idea from our cable/internet provider.

Guess which one it was?

 

After being greeted by both Shaquille O’Neal and Ben Stein, who thanked me for calling Comcast but offered no answers to my question, I pressed on, hitting the correct prompt for billing inquiries.

Without me even asking, Comcast provided me with my account balance, which was very informative of them, I thought.  But it was what came next that really proved how generous the folks at Comcast are. 

 

“To make a payment with no charge to your account, visit us on the web, at www.comcast.com.   You may also use our automated payment system for a $2.00 convenience fee or speak with a customer account executive for a $4.95 service charge.”

 

My jaw dropped.  I could give them my money, but depending upon how I wanted to hand over the goods, they would charge me.  Unable to believe my ears, I hit the prompt to connect me with a customer account executive, who I figured must have gone to some fancy university to merit a $4.95 service charge. 

 

The woman who answered greeted me politely and asked what she could do for me.  “Well,” I said, “I received a phone call from someone last night who offered to let us make a payment to Comcast for no charge, which implies that sometimes, Comcast charges customers to take the customer’s money.  Is that correct?”

 

“That is correct,” she responded.

“Could you tell me how that works?” I asked.

“Of course.  You can pay your bill on the internet or in person at a Comcast office for no charge, or you can use our automated phone system for a $2.00 convenience fee.  You can also speak to a customer service representative and pay your bill for a $4.95 service charge,” she said.

“So what you’re telling me is that Comcast will charge me to take my money depending on how I want to pay the bill?” I asked.

“That is correct,” she said.

“Can you explain to me why they charge customers an additional fee to take the customer’s money?”

“I’m sorry; I can’t explain that.  It’s company policy,” she responded.  (And strike three; you're out.)

I hung up, probably prematurely, as I should have made sure she wasn’t going to charge me $4.95 just for asking a few questions. 

I realize that the whole concept of customer service has taken a beating in recent years, but this a new, all-time low.

I don’t know if Comcast is in the market for a new slogan, but I’ve got one that Shaq and Ben could recite on their next television commercial:  “Comcast—alienating customers one bonehead idea at a time.”  Does anyone have the number for Direct TV?

This is an original Philly Moms Blog post. Mary Fran Bontempo also writes at www.maryfranbontempo.com and EspressoLatteMocha.