Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmakkuh

'And lo on the third night of Chanukah, Jesus said unto his people, go forth and light the Menorah, and then we shall decorate the Christmas tree.' Or something like that. Confusing isn't it? That's just how we roll around here, at least at holiday time. You see, we are an interfaith family. And 90% of the year, that means little or nothing to me, my husband, my kids, their friends, etc. It's just the way that it is. But around the holidays, all the lines are blurred, the waters muddied, and the questions, oy vey the questions!

It's difficult to explain to a child how mommy can be of a religion that believes one thing, while daddy is of a religion that believes something totally different. And yet, they can be married, and have children, and try to teach them the ways of both. Its hard to put into words why we can have a Christmas tree AND a Mmenorah, and that's okay with G-d. And it's a downright pain in the ass to try to explain to my kids why they are the only kids in their class that celebrate two holidays. 

See, we live in an area where about 90% of the people celebrate Christmas, and Christmas alone. Not Chanukah, not Kwanzaa, not even Three Kings Day. While the holidays themselves are no point of contention, it's my own feeling of worry and confusion that gets me every year. Because neither my husband or myself are very religiously oriented people, holidays for us are more of a ritual, a tradition, a cultural observance. That has always been fine with us. The kids have never questioned our celebratory motives. They know the basic story of Chanukah, and the basic story of Christmas. And after all, in their very young view, they know the important stuff about each holiday, food, family, fun, and PRESENTS!

But I worry because we live in an area where there are no Jews. At my daughters school, both of their classes were asked to raise their hands if they celebrated something other then Christmas. In both classes, my girls were the only hands to go up. The teacher asked them what else they celebrated and would they like to share a little about "their holiday" with the class. The next day both of my girls happily returned to school with a little hand written story about Chanukah to tell their class. And they were fine with it. The teacher made it an exercise in multi-culturalism. The kids were interested, and had questions. Mostly, "so you get presents for Christmas AND Hanukkah?" And at the end of the day everyone went back to the business of preparing for the only holiday that really matters in our society, Christmas. And I was left to wonder how long before my beautiful innocent children no longer throw their hand in the air at the chance to demonstrate how they are different from those around them? How long before when asked, "who here celebrates something other then Christmas?" they fidget in their chair, looking the other way, hoping to go unnoticed?

Because, when you are 3, or 5 or 6 or 8, being a little different from your friends is probably not such a bad thing. But when you are 13 and on the cusp of the teen years, or you are 15 and trying desperately to fit in, the last thing you want to do is be different- in any way. So, I worry. I worry because I don't know what other parents believe. I don't know what they teach their kids, or say to them behind closed doors. Sure, everyone here is nice enough. Everyone exchanges pleasantries in the grocery store. But, how do I know that when little Jessie went home and told her mom that she learned about Chanukah in class today, little Jessie's mom wasn't mortified by the fact that the "Jews" had moved in. I don't know. And I hate to be that voice of paranoia. What I do know is that there is no day off from school for Chanukah, not even the first day. I know that my kids are supposed to go to school during all of the high holy days of the Jewish calendar. And I know that around here, everyone just assumes that you celebrate Christmas. Which we do. So we get a "pass". We get the okay because we are interfaith. But for those who are not, for those who live in places where they are the minority, at this time of year especially, I hope that they raise their kids to be strong and proud of who they are, and tolerant of those who are not just like them.  And I hope, I really hope, that people teach their kids that there are other religions and other cultures out there; that there is more out there than just a man with a white beard in a big red suit. And most importantly, that neither one is better than the other. But I am not holding my breath. I mean for goodness sake, my spell-checker didn't even recognize Kwanzaa.

This is an original post for The Philly Moms Blog. Michelle Wolfson writes her own parenting blog, Mommy Confessions, while caring for her interfaith family of 5.