Philly Moms

My June Bug

"Lily, can you please stop? Or how about you slow down a bit?" I quietly asked my daughter while feeding her breakfast this  morning. Lily was shaking her head no as fast as she could, with a huge smile on her face. Shaking her head is the answer to every question I ask her. No matter what it is. But, this time I was asking her to stop growing up so quickly. 

You probably hear comments about it all the time from parents. "They grow so fast" or "Enjoy it now because they will be teenagers before you know it". We always want them to hit that next milestone, but we are sad when we realize they are hitting them all so quickly. They say time flies when you are having fun. For me, time flies when you are changing diapers, and chasing children.

My baby girl is no longer a baby. Lily will turn two on June 26th. She is my third and final child. I had my tubes tied after her birth. I think once every mom decides she is done having children they go through a period of mourning or sadness once they realize they will never have a little baby again. Even if it's the best decision for yourself and your family, it's not an easy one.

Why Do People Bully?

I seriously ask myself that question every single day. Yes, every day. Recently, my two boys, ages nine and seven, both experienced bullying in the same week at school. There are so many questions that run through my mind when I think of my title question. Like, what kind of home life do bullies have? Why do they think it's OK to treat another person that way? What are their parents like?  I think bullying is complex and not cut and dry. But, that doesn't make it acceptable in anyway. The worst part....it's not just kids doing it. Click on any link to a moms forum and see bullying at it's best. They are often referred to as the "mean girls" of that site.

In the past month it seems as though nearly every time I turn on the morning national news program I hear of a new case of bullying gone too far, and I wonder when enough is enough. I wonder at what point I need to be scared that the bullying my children face will go to far. I recently heard of the story of Phoebe Prince. A beautiful, smart teenager from South Hadley, MA. Phoebe was taunted, harassed, and bullied at school. All supposedly because of a relationship she had with a boy that some "mean girls" were jealous of. They made her life miserable, along with some stupid boys who thought they would be cool too and together they made her life a living hell,. Phoebe committed suicide on January 14, 2010.  I really hope all of the children involved face maximum punishment for causing the suicide of Phoebe Prince.

Making Mama Tiger Come Out

My husband has been working out of state a lot recently. This leaves me to be a single parent for days at a time. It also makes me realize how much harder single parents have to work. By the time my husband is home I can not believe how much I miss his presence. It's something with boys I guess, but they think it's party time when dad is gone and it's just mom. Time to pick on mom, time to give mom a nervous breakdown. Time to push mom the hardest we can push her! Let's make mom break! 

Tuesday morning it was pouring rain in the Philadelphia area and surrounding suburbs. The boys were in the living room throwing balls, wrestling, screaming, things they would never dare do if their father was home. I had asked them several times to stop it. I had just kissed the second injury of the morning. I was now screaming as well. I was to the point of spanking. I had enough. It was ten minutes before the bus stop time, but I sent them out anyway. In the rain. They had hoods on their jackets, they were fine! "Go act like animals in the rain!" I screeched at them.

Oh how I look forward to when the bus comes in the morning. They get on the bus and my heartbeat slows, my breathing slows, I feel so relaxed. Until I look down and see a whining toddler at my feet.

What Is Sleep?

I am seriously missing my beauty sleep these days. My daughter, Lily, is the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen so I guess she doesn't need it. Lily has never been a good sleeper. I called it when she was throwing punches and kicking me at midnight in my third trimester. The thing is, she isn't an infant. She will be two in June. I feel like I have tried everything.

We have done crying it out. We have done the Ferber Method. We have stuffed her tummy good before bed. We give her Motrin if she is teething. Some nights, she will sleep a good 12 hours without a peep. You know that feeling that something must be wrong? That's how I feel after a full nights sleep. I get up and rush into her room to make sure she is still breathing.

My whole life revolves around how my daughter sleeps. A bad night leaves me utterly exhausted. Quite unable to function properly the next day. If she sleeps poorly we are both cranky the next day. I feel for my husband, dealing with two cranky females. I can often be indignant the next morning.

May I Have Your Attention Please?

I watched as my son fidgeted in his seat. "I just can't do it, mom! I'm So frustrated!" he cried. His eyes were filling up with tears. I smiled on the outside but my heart was melting for him on the inside. I reached over and put my hand under his chin. I told him to look me in the eyes. "You can do this Robert.", I said fighting back my frustrations as well. "I will help you." This is homework time for us and this dialog happens frequently.

My son was officially diagnosed with ADD in the fall of 2008. However, I have known in my heart that he has had it for a long time. Maybe since he was born, maybe since he was a toddler. I don't know if ADD/ADHD is something you are born with or something you develop. That is another blog entry for another day. All I truly know is that it has been a struggle for a long time. Even as a toddler I would watch him constantly fidgeting even as he was falling asleep. He was never one to sit down and just watch a movie. Although, after a lot of hard work I can proudly say that now he can.

Winter, Winter, Go Away...

I'm kind of ashamed to admit that I really resent one of Pennsylvania's cutest citizens, our favorite weather forecaster, Phil. Yeah... Phil! You know, that cute little ground hog who peeks his head out and lets everyone know when spring will arrive. Once again this year, as in many past, we are in for six more weeks of winter.  This time of year always makes me get that little glimmer of hope that we are going to wake up to the sun shining warmly and a forcasted high temperature of 60 degrees. Even 60 is chilly for me but Ill compromise with mother nature. If we aren't seeing a break in winter any time soon, can we at least have a day or two or warmth?

As I write this my kids are experiencing their sixth snow day this school year. Six! Can you believe that? If you live in the Philly area it's not something we usually experience anymore. When I was a kid snow days were pretty common. However, for my kids they have never experienced a winter like this. They love it! Me, and I think I can speak for a lot of moms, I am sick of it! I need my kids to go to school. It keeps me sane.