Philly Moms

Bus Stopped

Getting my daughter up for the school bus has always been a chore.

A deep sleeper, she is  somehow capable of making polite chat while still in lala land. It is only when she really begins to wake up that her demeanor alters from cocktail-party polite to teen grumpy.

And I'm not at my best, either, I must admit. My poor child, who attends a charter high school, is first on our driver's pick up route. A half hour drive for us takes her an hour and fifteen minutes.Since neither of us are morning people, comuncation is limited to shoving a container of yogurt in her hand and handing her clothes for school.

Only today I fell down on that job. Her  normal school uniform, which alternates with the gym uniform, was at her dad's house. Worse, I had just that minute (it never pays to be efficient in the morning) put her sweatshirt in the washing machine -- and turned it on.

Drama ensued.

You might be a cult member if …

You might be a cult member if ...

… You’ve tried diets involving extended consumption of only one kind of fruit, or massive quantities of protein, or meals in a can.

… You are fonder of your treadmill than animate beings.

… You feel ambivalent about your height. Or your skin. Or your hair.

I think most of us belong to the cult. We say we’re realistic about our looks, or that we have to know our flaws to work with them, but the truth is we’ve been indoctrinated into a corrosive pseudo-religion -- one with specific (often unattainable) standards and a sense that no matter how ascetic or hedonistic we are, we will forever fall short of its promise of salvation. Film actress Demi Moore recently revealed her history of body issues, comedienne Kirstie Alley has practically made a second career out of hers, and stars as dissimilar as Cher and Joan Rivers have altered their faces to indistinction in search of some quality they don’t see in the mirror.

Mommy War and Peace: It's personal

Cross-posted from our sister site, Silicon Valley Moms Blog.

Can we please declare a moratorium on the mommy war?  The one where mommies are fighting about whether it’s better to stay at home or work?   The war that is almost halfway to the Hundred Years War?   Can someone please muzzle Dr. Phil and all the people who fan the flames?

Enough already.  Most mommies don’t have a choice about fighting this war---they’re drafted.  Even for those who have choices, it surprises me that today's mommies are so sure about where they stand.  

Because I could never choose a side.

In fact that’s my point: that the most intense mommy war takes place not  BETWEEN mommies but INSIDE mommies.

The first skirmish on my battlefield came in with the breast milk.

I had never yearned to be a mommy; had not a single domestic bone in my body;  no stirrings when I saw a baby.  In fact, what stirred in me was doubt.

In my thirties the body clock ticked loudly enough to wake me up and the alarm went off and suddenly I was pregnant.

At the same time, I knew, deep in my soul, I was not meant to stay home.  So I hired a nanny before giving birth.

I fired her before she ever got started.

Because I was in love. 

Continue reading this post on the Silicon Valley Moms Blog.

Buckle up and vaccinate

Cross-posted from our sister site, Chicago Moms Blog.

Imagine for a moment you had a friend who doesn't buckle her children into car seats. Her pediatrician is horrified and her daycare provider protested, but your friend just waves away their--and your--concerns. She says sure, seat belts and car seats have saved some lives, but they could also be deadly. They're not fail proof. They're not fully tested. There are recalls all the time. Not only that, they could kill her kids if, say, the car engine catches fire and everyone needs to get out as fast as possible.

You're crazy, you respond. Everyone uses seat belts. It's the law!

Then your friend points out how the government has no business mandating how she raises her children. She needs to trust her motherly instinct instead of some government goon and that instinct knows her kids are safer without seat belts. And besides, she continues, car seats are expensive. They're made by big corporations with an eye to maximizing shareholder profits. That whole recommendation not to buy used and replace a car seat after 6 years of use? It's all about making money for the man, man.

To help defend her position, she forwards links to horror stories of kids killed or disfigured while strapped into their car seat. She cites experts--even celebrities--who eschew seatbelts and car seats for their own children.

Continue reading this post over at Chicago Moms Blog.

What Happened to the Girl I Married? by Michael Miller: A Silicon Valley Moms Group Book Club

Silicon Valley Moms Group bloggers' monthly book club is tackling a subject today that can become heated. What DO stay-at-home-moms do all day?? We are a diverse group here on Silicon Valley Moms Group - we are SAHMs, working moms, WAHMs, moms somewhere in between. We ALL have different perspectives and we're sharing them today as we discuss what this guy, this dad, a Silicon Valley executive, learned when he walked a year in his SAHM wife's shoes. 

Join in as Silicon Valley Moms Group bloggers discuss the book What Happened to the Girl I Married? by Michael Miller.

• Silicon Valley Moms Blog's Jessica leads us off with a confession
• Julie from Just Precious toasts another 111 years of understanding, love, trust and family
• Sophia from Moody Mommy says she's NOT the girl he married
• Cynthia from Cynthia718 announces that the woman you married has left the building
• Bonnie from Just Peachy Baby loved the payback!
• Stacy from The Fabulous Miss S wants her husband to take another dude's word for it
• Erica from wellthoughtoutspot thinks about a parent's identity: segmentation or fragmentation?
• Nicole from Not Just a Working Mom and her husband don't really fit into a parenting category
• Silicon Valley Diva from Blog on the Wall turns the tables and asks what happened to the (french) guy she married?
• Melanie from Tales from the Crib thinks her husband will be getting a crash course on staying home with kids when she heads to BlogHer next week
• Bonggamom from Finding Bonggamom will also be leaving her husband next week to live her life...sort of...while she's at BlogHer
• Jennifer from Connect with your Teens asks: did marriage and kids change you?
• Amy from Le ShallowGal took the Seal/Heidi Klum angle on this book
• Rox from Rox and Roll muses on adaptability
• Chefdruck from Chefdruck Musings re-establishes a balance of power
• Laughing at Chaos from Never a Dull Moment says "OH, I'll tell ya what happened to the girl he married"
• Musings from Me from Musings from Me bristled at Mr. Fix It
• Linsey from Me Too You has never-ever-ending laundry
• Heidi from Coast 2 Coast Mom advises you to man-up and find yourself already
• Teresa from Elebelly thinks she may be at the point where she is ready to take care of herself, so she can take care of others
• Robin from My Life As It Is says I'm right here, you're right here
• Lori Landau declared the Girl You Married is a Woman 

More posts will be put up throughout the day on our writer's personal sites, so be sure to check back to follow along.

.... and if you have a post up on YOUR personal site on this topic, please leave a comment here and we will add your link!

About the book - read a description here.

Past Silicon Valley Moms Group Book Clubs have included:

• Testimony by Anita Shreve
• Comfort Food by Kate Jacobs
• Much to Your Chagrin by Suzanne Guilette
  
• It Started with Pop-Tarts by Lori Hanson
• Who By Fire by Diana Spechler
• The White Trash Moms Handbook by Michelle Lamar
• Writing Motherhood by Lisa Garrigues
• The Vaccine Book by Dr. Robert W. Sears
• The Other Mother by Gwendolen Gross